They let me write in here

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They let me write like a man
I am a removeable littleneck
I am my own mental health
There was this time
An unbelievable time
When I – I was unafraid
My tiny heart synthetic to some
Exhaled like an enormous fish
Half learning this entrance
This exact voltage that binds me
My thoughts become tender
All is death – And I move through it
Rearranging my face, my father
The one I dressed – I am medicated
I said – his body had just turned grey
I was greedy I was a dangling star
A wooden bird on crayoned hands
I’m in here instead – they say I’m better
What do they know about suicide
Do they know that I float – I float
Over my own skin – plunging
Lifting like no other – trying
In harness – I call mother
Touch my womb – touch me
Pale as an angel – above me
I ask her to snap my legs, my ribs
Touch me – shock me – set me free
Love me – love me please – love me

I hold on

To myself because I am afraid to let go
There is a crimson of pearl that hangs
It hangs above my brow – I try and try
To wash it off – it charms to keep itself

WHOLE

As this writing continues – I battle
My brittle mouth, placing wings on it

On this soul made of small things
And in its venerable antique form
A breathing swells my left hand

To a round nest – more tenderly
Than I could ever expected love to be

Even When

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No one said it’s mine
When I is unholy
When I is deaf

It is always I
Always I – who wants God
Where somewhere somehow

A himward, finely, firmly
A nativity entirely anchored
A living dew for you father

Mastertasking me
Mastertasking me

That is all – that is I