Mari Sánchez Cayuso

Tag: letting go

  • I Loved You Like Blue

    I loved you like blue.

    Because blue was never just blue.
    It was the sky before the rain
    the ocean when nobody was looking
    the color of something beautiful
    I could never quite keep.

    And maybe that’s what I did.
    I kept looking
    as if looking long enough
    might make something stay.

    It’s three-thirty in the morning
    and somehow I find myself here
    thinking about the things we love
    but cannot call our own.

    Because sometimes
    you can love something so deeply
    and still have to accept
    that loving it doesn’t give you
    the right to keep it.

    You have to let it
    belong to the world.

  • Maybe

    If I could
    I’d paint you a sky
    low enough to reach.

    A sky without distance.

    Why?

    I don’t know.

    Maybe because I’ve spent
    an embarrassing amount of my life
    making myself comfortable
    inside things that weren’t good for me.

    Love, especially.

    The kind that asks you
    to become smaller
    so it can stay.

    The kind you keep calling love
    because you honestly don’t know
    what else to call
    the thing you can’t leave.

    Maybe that’s why
    I wanted the sky so low.

    Not because I wanted to reach you.

    Or maybe I did.

    I don’t know.

    Maybe I just wanted
    for once
    something I loved
    to be close enough
    that reaching for it
    didn’t hurt.

    And maybe that’s the whole point.

    Maybe I’ve spent too much of my life
    loving things
    that required me
    to hurt myself
    just to get close.