I have tried
to keep poetry
as a pet.
I gave it a place to sleep.
I fed it
the parts of myself
I could not say
without becoming unbearable.
It ate everything.
My mother’s aging.
My father’s absence.
The men I loved
beyond the point of dignity.
It ate the woman
I used to be
and came back hungry.
Mine has ruined furniture.
It has found every place
I healed badly
and slept inside it.
It has dragged
every version of me
I buried
back through the house,
leaving them
at my feet
as if I should
thank it.
Sometimes
it disappears.
I search for it
inside the silence,
under the bed,
behind every sentence
I try to force
into meaning.
Nothing.
I begin to wonder
whether I have emptied myself
so completely
there is nothing left
worth feeding anymore.
Then I feel it move.
Not gently.
It has never bitten me.
It simply waits
until I call something healed,
then nudges it
with one quiet word.

Sometimes I think
poetry isn’t eating me.
It’s removing
everything
that isn’t mine.
I open the door.
It walks past me,
carrying something of mine
still trying
to become
a sentence.
I spent years believing
I was keeping poetry alive.
It never wanted food.
It wanted
the woman
who walked into the poem,
because it knew
she would not be
the one
who walked out.
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