Groundhog Day

As I’m writing this
I’m looking at both of them
and they are completely passed out

Not asleep

Passed out

Like they worked a double shift
paid a mortgage
argued with the electric company
stood in line at the bank
and came home with lower back pain

People say cats sleep all day
and then become active at night

No

Not these two

These two sleep in the morning
sleep in the afternoon
sleep at night
wake up slightly offended
walk a few feet
eat
use the litter box
fight
and go right back to sleep

That is their whole schedule

I really think they sleep twenty hours
and the other four
are just basic survival
and unnecessary violence

They are senior cats now
so everything they do
feels slower
smaller
but somehow still very serious

The bowl
The water
The blanket
The window

The same spot
where the sun comes in
like it owns the place
and still owes them rent

They return to it every day
like old people
going to the same café
because why change now

And then—of course
there is the full moon

I don’t always know
there is a full moon

Sometimes I come home
and know before
I even look outside

There are clumps of hair
on the floor

Not a little shedding

Clumps

A substantial amount

Light hair
Dark hair

Enough to know
their violence is real

Enough to know
who won

Usually the girl

My son’s cat
The daughter

The other one is her father
which makes the whole thing
even more ridiculous

A father-daughter duo
with the most dysfunctional relationship
in the house

He loses most of the time

She does not care for him

Not even a little

She has been sick of him
for years

And still

There they are

Sleeping near each other
Eating near each other
Fighting under the moon
like they have some contract
none of us were allowed to read

People give cats a bad name
but cats are incredible companions

They really are

They don’t make a production out of love

They don’t need to be praised
for staying

They just stay

They choose the room you are in
They learn your footsteps
They know when you come home

They sit close enough
to keep you company
and far enough
to pretend it was their idea

And honestly
I understand that

The older I get
the more I understand
living in intervals

Wake up
Drink water
Move around
Try to eat
Rest
Survive the weather
Survive the moon
Start again

Some days
that is the whole thing

Not a breakthrough
Not a revelation

Just the body
doing what it knows
while the heart catches up

So I look at them now
both completely gone to the world
like life has asked too much
and they are done answering

And I love them

Their old bones
Their terrible attitudes
Their little wars
Their strange loyalty

The way they return
to the same places
again and again

as if peace
is not somewhere else

As if the house
even quiet
even changed
even under a full moon

is still worth circling

Still worth sleeping in

Still worth waking for